I recently chatted with another blog writer who has the same proclivity as I do for going long periods of time without refreshing the blog, and offered: I'll write another blog post if you do. She said, Ok.
Life is a series of choices: do or do not. I think that there are usually multiple reasons why people make choices. Often, the decision-making process is so ingrained that people don't even recognize it working in their choices, but it is not less important for being unnoticed. One of the most important things a person can learn about themselves is why they make the choices they do.
How might such an introspection look? It could start simply. Take the choices of an hour, or a day; perhaps a week or a month or a year; and write the why behind the choices made. I am writing this blog entry because of the deal I made, but also because doing what I have said I would do is a crucial part of my identity.
In the midst of all my reasons for doing (and not doing) the things I do, one desire is preeminent and reoccurring. As the prophet Ether in the Book of Mormon wrote:
Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God. (Ether 12:4)
Surely, the best single motivation in life is a fixed desire and determination to please God. If we would run every decision through the filter of pleasing God, we would find within us a growing sense of peace and calm, even an anchor, capable of weathering any storm. We are not machines, and God knows we will fall short. But even in falling short, if we will turn immediately to God, then He is quick to hear us and deliver us. He is always most interested in where we are headed right now. Our velocity and even our motives can be improved over time as long as we do not allow ourselves to be taken off course. The best time to repent is always right now.
The desire to please God is the central motivation of a righteous life, but it is a spiritual lens, and can only be used correctly consistently as we are spiritually attuned to God. What happens when we try to use our perfect lens to measure a complicated decision, and we feel like we don't know the answer? It is easy to revert to our natural, lower motivations in such cases. I have made the choice many days not to blog, through laziness, perfectionism, preoccupation with other things, etc. Choosing not to act is a decision, and bears just as much weight (or more) than choosing to act (Matthew 25:14–30).
I think it is a mark of spiritual maturity to persevere in asking when the answer is not obvious at first. Anyone can find reasons not to act. Anyone can find reasons to quit. Anyone can get water to run downhill, or bend beneath the wind. It takes a thoughtful, and patient, and diligent person to press on in asking when the answer does not come at once; to seek a greater awareness of the Lord and His purposes and priorities as they relate to ourselves and everyone around us. The spiritual law that we have received for this time is to study it out in our own minds, decide, and then ask the Lord if what we have decided is right. If the answer is yes, go on your way rejoicing. If the answer is no, the process is repeated. New information may be obtained, and a new conclusion may be reached. If the answer is not given, then we must exercise our own judgment, and continue to seek confirmation as we proceed. (See this talk for more information on acquiring spiritual knowledge.)
So, what to say of those who do not believe in God, let alone in pleasing Him? There are a band of do-good atheists in the world, men like C.S. Lewis was, or Austin Petersen is, who do not acknowledge the existence of God in their words, but in their deeds. If there truly is no God and no law, then there is no punishment and no reason for guilt for anything a man does. (2 Ne. 2:13; Alma 30:17) There is also nothing to have faith in, no power over death, no reason to plan for an existence beyond this world. In short, our understanding of life as a species is eternally incomplete and inconclusive; the answer to the central longing of every human heart for knowledge (what is truth?) and understanding (why?), an unending silence.
The very fact that we believe there should be an order to things; that questions should have answers, and wrongs be righted, and parents love their children, is heaven's whisper that answers and justice and love exist. The existence of "should" is a testimony of the existence of law. As a quote from Lincoln's day states: "When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad, and that’s my religion." If we didn't feel these things, that would be a very different world indeed. But we do feel them, universally, and there is a why.
I desire to have thoughts flow uninterrupted and to provide light and meaning with plainness and without impurities to everyone who seeks light. I want to persuade other people to come unto Christ, become like Him, and be perfected in Him. I want everyone who chooses to be influenced by me in any way to feel the Savior's love shining through me to them, urging them to believe in and rise up to their divine potential. Our potential in even one lifetime is so staggering that it can be overwhelming, but it helps to remember that we don't live life one lifetime at a time, but one moment at a time, and God is willing to work with us in any and every moment that we turn our hearts, minds, and souls to him. I know He is real and I am very excited to meet Him in person some day and better understand the what and the why of everything that has been, and of what is and is to come.
In the meantime, I am very grateful for little tender mercies that help me make slightly better choices along my journey; mercies like a fellow blogger who knows what it is to want to write again, who was willing to provide a little nudge in the direction of doing. Thanks!
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